


Sinister Snape

by xxstaindrosesxx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Comedy, Drama, F/M, Hogwarts Era, Humor, POV First Person, Romance, Sex, Strong Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxstaindrosesxx/pseuds/xxstaindrosesxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Get into the mind of Sydney Snape, the daughter of Severus Snape. To her friends, she's known as Sinister Snape. She's pulled a few good pranks in her time and her two best friends, Pansy and Blaise, can account for it. Goyle and Draco want her, Blaise starts acting awkward, and Neville just kind of comes along. Add in a few stink bombs and Peeves to see what really happens in the life of someone so sinister.<br/>-OC/Neville</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sinister Snape

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic ages ago because I thought it would be hilarious to have a fic where Snape has a daughter who is basically the opposite of what people would really expect. She's a goofball, funny, and kind of like his enemies during his times at Hogwarts. I hope that it came off as funny, but I did write this a few years back, so the writing quality may not be all that great. This does have multiple chapters, although it is not complete, but if I get some decent reviews, I might consider continuing it. :D

 

What another boring day at Hogwarts. Potions didn’t even challenge me and I swear Snape pulls our assignments out of his ass. I know I shouldn’t say anything awful about the man, him being my father and all. The poor guy had to raise me all by himself since my mother died after giving birth to me. My whole life, my father has been single so I think I was probably the product of a one night stand. It doesn’t really bother me considering the man needs to get laid anyways.

Back to the point. My name is Sydney Snape and all my friends call me Syd. I like being the daughter of Snape because I receive respect from my fellow Slytherins, except from Draco who treats me like I’m supposed to be his arm candy, but I will get back to him some other time. Anyways, my best friends are Pansy and Blaise. Pansy is kind of a dingbat and Blaise is pretty cool. I talk to Crabbe and Goyle sometimes, but Crabbe is pretty dumb and I don’t know what to think about Goyle.

Amongst my Slytherins, I’m known as Sinister Snape. I received this title after I played a few pranks on Potter and his friends. I seriously talked Peeves into following Potter around for a week by just telling Peeves that Potter talked crap about him. The Weasley Twins even asked me for help once when it came to a prank involving their brother Ron. We came up with the idea of paying some guy to say that he was Ron’s owl, Pig, after what happened with his rat, Scabbers. The prank with the twins was probably the most cooperation there had ever been between a Slytherin and a couple of Gryffindors.

That’s me though. I’m a prankster and father compares me to Potter’s father and his friends, but I know my father finds it funny when I prank Potter. I even saw him smirk a couple of times from a prank I pulled on Potter. Now, if I could just get the man laid, he might wear a color other then black.

Now, I’m late to meet Pansy in the Great Hall for breakfast. She probably wants to talk about Draco. I have to admit, I love that girl, but she can have Draco. He repulses me. Anyways, I’m heading to the Great Hall now. I get about half way there and I see that Longbottom has managed to trip over his own feet again. What a dork.

I’m walking and walking, and now I’m in the Great Hall. Pansy waves at me like I don’t know where I’m supposed to sit or something. I walk over and sit down. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are sitting across from me, while Blaise is sitting on my other side. Draco has a smirk on his face as he sees me, and I automatically think about how I want to slap that smirk off of his face.

“Hey Sydney. You want to go to Hogsmeade with me today?” He asks me. Maybe if hell froze over.

“I’m already going with someone.” I lie.

“Who?” He asks. Nosey bastard.

“None of your damn business. Why don’t you take Pansy? She’s just dying to go with you.” I suggest, knowing Pansy would be pissed but thankful that I suggested it.

I had been right. Pansy gave me that death glare, but I knew she was hopeful about Draco and her. “Fine. I’ll take her but only because you suggested it.” He comments. What a jerk. I knew Pansy would be upset, but she would also be excited about spending time with Draco. It’s quite pathetic actually.

After we all ate breakfast and settled that little encounter, I left the table. I hid in a nearby hallway and watched as Pansy and Draco left for Hogsmeade while Crabbe and Goyle trailed slowly behind. Blaise had a date so he was off elsewhere, but when Goyle walked by, I grabbed him by the back of the robes and pulled him into the hallway I had been hiding in.

“Bloody hell!” shouts Goyle. He looked at me with a dumbfounded look. “What Syd?” He asks, sounding annoyed.

“Take me to Hogsmeade,” I demand. I lied to Draco when I mentioned I was already going with someone. Truth be told, no one asked me.

He wrinkled his forehead. “Are you nuts? Draco will kill me since he obviously has the hots for you.” He states. Tell me something I don’t know.

“Please. I’ll do anything.” I beg, trying to avoid Draco at all costs.

A smirk came over Goyle’s lips as if he were insinuating something perverted. I slapped him on the shoulder. “Anything but that.” I say. I have never had sex and I wasn’t about to blow it on Goyle for some favor.

“Fine. Do my Potions homework for a week and help me make Pansy jealous so she will want me.” He demands.

He likes Pansy? What the hell? “Pansy?” I question. “But she’s so into Draco.”

“I know. I just want to shag her. Draco said she’s pretty easy.” He confesses.

“Whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes. I felt weird allowing him to use my friend, but Pansy was known for being easy. “We have a deal.”

Next thing I know, Goyle is holding my hand and we are walking towards Hogsmeade. I’ll admit, it feels weird to be holding his hand, but I guess it has to look convincing to fool Draco and make Pansy jealous or whatever. In fact, I’ve never held a boy’s hand before so it is extremely weird.

After a few minutes of walking hand-in-hand, Goyle and I reach Hogsmeade. I’m already bored just looking at the town. It’s only fun the first couple of years, and then Hogsmeade gets boring.

“Where do you want to go first?” Goyle asks. Like I really cared where we went.

“Zonko’s.” I reply. Obviously I would want to look at jokes, being a prankster and all.

Next thing I know, Goyle is dragging me towards Zonko’s like I’m a little kid being dragged along by their parent. It’s like he is trying to rip my arm off or something. Anyways, we make our way to Zonko’s and who do I see again? Longbottom, and he’s knocked over a display in the store. What a tosspot!

Goyle and I messed around in the store for awhile, trying on funny sunglasses and pushing buttons on various things. After awhile, Goyle looks annoyed. I guess I can’t blame him considering I tend to get carried away when it comes to the world of jokes. “Alright. Let’s go.” I suggest. We start to leave the shop when BOOM! Longbottom runs into me. What a klutz!

“S-Sorry.” Longbottom apologizes.

I’m not really in the mood to talk to him so I actually play it cool. “Just watch where you’re going next time.” After my comment to Longbottom, Goyle and I leave Zonko’s.

“You were actually pretty nice to Longbottom back there. What’s with that?” Goyle asks. Ugh. What a retard. He just has to act like a typical Slytherin.

“Nothing. I just don’t feel like dealing with a bunch of drama.” I confess.

Goyle just nodded. “Where to now?” He asks.

“Honeydukes.” I reply, in need of a huge sugar fix.

Goyle and I walked to Honeydukes, and lucky us, we ran into Draco and Pansy. Pansy looked upset about something, but then again, if I had to be around Draco like that, I think I would puke. Draco and Pansy had spotted us and before I could react, Goyle pressed his lips to mine. Once he pulled away, I just stood there, stunned and dumbfounded.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Draco asks angrily.

Hmm. What to do? I slapped Goyle across the face and put my hand on my hip. “Yeah. That’s a good question.” I state.

“Oww,” complains Goyle, rubbing his cheek. “I was just showing her what she was missing.” He smirks. Eww. What a conceited jerk.

Draco seemed to calm down after what Goyle said. “Hey Goyle. Take Pansy back to the castle for me.” He demands. Pansy looked upset, but I knew this was some lame attempt to get me alone. Then again, Goyle kind of got what he wanted. Truth be told, I had a pretty decent time with Goyle, even though my first kiss turned out to be a fluke.

“My pleasure.” Goyle states, smirking as he put his arm around Pansy. The two started walking off and I actually felt sorry for Pansy. Here she is, being blown off by Draco, the one boy she likes, and then being thrown into the arms of Goyle. On the other hand, I knew she would probably sleep with Goyle because she would be depressed about Draco. It’s really sad actually, but I’m her best friend so I won’t say anything.

Once Goyle and Pansy left, Draco smirked at me. Oh brother. “You want me to hang out with you now?” He asks. If you were Merlin, maybe.

“No,” I reply. “Why would I want to hang out with someone who treats my best friend like crap, has lackeys, and ultimately disgusts me?” I ask, trying to make my point clear.

My point had been more then clear because Draco slapped me across the face. I held my cheek and looked at him; a look of anger on his face.

“You shouldn’t slap girls.” A male voice says. I turned to see Longbottom walking over. I swear that boy had been following me.

Draco sneered and faced Longbottom. “What are you going to do about it?” He asks in a threatening voice.

“He doesn’t have to do anything.” I state. Draco turned to face me and I punched him right in the nose. Some blood had gushed out of his nose, showing I had clearly broken it. Next thing I know, Draco’s running off like a little girl. He must really enjoy being hit by girls. I remember when Hermione punched him. He had the nerve to tell everyone that he ran into a doorknob. Very unlikely story.

“Are you okay?” Longbottom asks.

I turned to face him. It was weird to sort of be rescued by him. It was even weirder that I kind of owed him. “Yes. Thanks.” I reply, kind of confused by the situation.

“It was no problem. I hate Draco anyways.” He replies like he was trying to justify him saving me.

The next few moments were awkward. We just stood there in silence until I thought of something. “Why did you save me? I mean, I’m a Slytherin and Snape’s daughter. Most students, especially Gryffindors, are put off by those facts.” I explain, clearly not associating with Gryffindors too often.

“No girl deserves to be hit like that. My Grams taught me that.” He answers.

His Grams? That’s actually kind of sweet. Wait. What am I thinking? We’re talking about Longbottom here. “Your Grams is right.” I admitt, agreeing with the woman.

“Do you need me to walk you back to the castle just in case Draco comes back?” He asks me.

The boy acts like I didn’t even punch Draco! I’m getting the feeling that he might like me, which makes no sense since our houses are enemies. “Sure.” I answer, realizing he did have a point. Plus, he did help me and I didn’t want to be rude to someone who had helped me, as weird as that sounds.

The two of us started walking back to the castle, side-by-side, Slytherin next to Gryffindor. We didn’t really talk and some students gave us really weird looks. “Do you want a piece of candy?” Longbottom asks.

“Uhh. Sure.” I reply, feeling weird that he now was offering me candy. Isn't there some rule about accepting candy from strangers? Oh well.

He handed me the piece of candy and I quickly unwrapped it before shoving it in my mouth. Yummy. It had been cherry which is my favorite. “Thanks.” I say.

He just kind of nodded and we continued walking until we reached the castle. We stood in the main entrance and I looked around to make sure the coast had been clear. I quickly kissed Neville on the cheek. “Thanks for everything.” I say before running off towards the Slytherin common room. I’m pretty sure I left him looking dumbfounded. I don’t know what really came over me. Wow. What a weird day.


End file.
